Category Archives: Women

January 27, 2021 · 12:22 PM

Leaning

42 Woman Leaning Against Wall Illustrations, Royalty-Free Vector Graphics & Clip Art - iStock

Every year around Christmas we watch the 1995 romantic comedy, While You Were Sleeping. We’ve seen it so many times that we can pretty much recite every line from memory. In one scene, the main characters have a conversation about the word leaning as an action between a man and a woman who may be interested in each other. It’s funny, and we chuckle nearly every time we hear the word spoken in any context.

Today, however, I read about leaning toward Jesus – leaning into Him rather than leaning into a religious culture that portrays a vastly different Jesus than the One in the bible. That is, if Jesus is portrayed at all.

My Christian upbringing and subsequent “maturity” in the faith was a litany of Jesus-loves-me-this-I-know, John 3:16, and a steady stream of admonitions about my shortcomings. I am exaggerating a little, because I have also had some excellent bible teaching over the years, but I think you know what I mean. Although the focus seemed to be on Jesus and having a relationship with Him, the how-to was not clearly explained or demonstrated. And to be honest, I didn’t even realize it.

I had questions, though. Lots of them. I was afraid to voice some of those questions for fear of being told I was being disrespectful to God, or to the pastor/teacher/leader I wanted to ask. The few times I did gather up the courage, I was made to feel foolish for asking. Now there’s an example of religious culture. Believe what we tell you to believe and don’t ask questions. Period.

About four or five years ago, I allowed the Lord to begin unraveling some of the tangles in my beliefs, which weren’t wrong per se, but had some gaps and disconnects and a bit of unbiblical basis. I flipped between stubborn and fascinated. Some of the tangles were easy to comb out and it was so good to be free of the mess. But others, well, they required (and still do) continuous care and attention, uprooting and planting, clearing out junk and replacing with new things. The process is another story.

The point is that there was and is a constant.

Leaning.

Leaning on God, the Father. Leaning on Jesus, the Teacher. Leaning on the Holy Spirit, the Helper.

And as I lean on Him, He leans into me. He holds me up and sustains me. He moves through me, in me, and around me. He reveals Himself to me in His Word, with His Word, and around His Word. I am in Him and He is in me.

All. The. Time.

There are still tangles in my beliefs, to be sure, although not as many as before. And there are still gaps and disconnects. But leaning into Him and He into me? There is nowhere else I’d rather be.

But the Lord God has become my divine helper. He leans into my heart and lays his hands upon me! Psalm 54:4 (TPT)

Leave a comment

Filed under Bible, Christ, Christian, Faith, God, holy spirit, Jesus Christ, Women, Writing

January 25, 2021 · 8:35 AM

Out with the Old

I don’t know about you, but after ten months of relative isolation due to Covid-19, I have been forced to come face to face with some habits that need to go. They’re minor things that wouldn’t even be noticed under ordinary conditions. Yet, these seemingly insignificant routines have potential to grow into big problems over time.

One of those dangerous habits is waiting.

I understand that there will always be situations where waiting is required. That’s life. But I’m referring to fruitless waiting. Waiting for the right time to start that project. Waiting for someone else to spark the flame to get motivated. Waiting for the pandemic to end so I can get back to normal. Waiting, waiting, waiting. If I could tack on all the time I’ve spent waiting to the end of my allotment of years, I’d live to be 125.

Here’s the big one. Waiting to do/be something new because it’s scary or might be hard or someone else might not like it or it might not work the way you thought. Guess what? It is scary. It will be hard. Someone, maybe even more than one, won’t like it. And there’s a good chance it’s not going to work exactly the way you thought.

But what if, despite the scary and hard, the new thing is better than the old? What if the new thing can’t happen until you get rid of the old? The problem is that the old stuff has taken root and now there is no place for the new stuff to be planted amidst the gnarled, twisted, unproductive tangle. You’ll never know how much better the new will be until you attack the old growth, get rid of it, and prepare the soil for that new thing.

This is where you decide. Will you yank out old roots – habits, thought patterns, excuses – to make room to plant new things? If you say yes, it will take determination. Commitment. Hard work. Faith.

I am done waiting for something to happen so I can embrace that new thing. The housecleaning process has begun and there is a growing pile of dead stuff in the trash. I am keeping my focus on Jesus Christ, the One who knows everything about me and loves me anyway. He will stick with me while I make room for the astonishing new He is holding out for me to receive. And He will stick with me to see it through.

Out with the old.

Trust Him with the new.

Now, if anyone is enfolded into Christ, he has become an entirely new creation. All that is related to the old order has vanished. Behold, everything is fresh and new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (TPT)

Leave a comment

Filed under Bible, Christ, Christian, Expectations, Faith, God, Life, Women

January 23, 2021 · 12:45 PM

Wearing Pastels

How to Wear Pastels - Pastel Colors Outfit Ideas

I don’t wear pastel colours. They don’t flatter me. Never have and never will. That’s probably the reason why I have never been drawn to pastels. Except for babies. And maybe a wall.

I mentioned in a previous post, That I May Know Him, that I had recently visited a Christian bookstore and found the women’s interest section almost exclusively filled with pastel-coloured covers, many with the smiling faces of their authors. That got me thinking.

Those who don’t look their best in pastel colours may choose to wear them anyway, perhaps accessorizing with a bright scarf or jacket. They can make it work. Good. Others may throw caution to the wind and boldly (?) put on that pale pink sweater or the baby blue dress all on its own even though it makes the wearer look washed out. Not good.

To the ones who can flaunt those pastels with flair and look fantastic, I commend you, and sometimes I even wished I was you. To the ones who can’t, there are other colours in the paintbox. That’s where I’m going with this.

There is a wide-spread expectation for women to look and act and speak a certain way, and that is to be pastel – look good, behave yourself, and be quiet. Don’t make a scene by standing up for yourself and speaking truth, because what would other people say? A mere woman couldn’t possibly have a valuable opinion anyway, right? For all the progress we’ve made in women’s rights, there is still a prevailing mindset that the female gender is inferior in every way that counts in the world’s gauge of dominance. I know there are many, many exceptions, but let’s be honest. It’s not the rule.

Pastel colours are burned into our brains to represent soft and gentle and feminine. That’s okay. But when you extend the reach of pastels to include acquiescence, subservience, and compliance to the extremes, a disconnect occurs and the pretty colours become labels for an unpretty life. The outside may look great, but the inside is in shambles. And I’m not talking about actual colours here, but rather the condition of the heart.

Take a good look at yourself. Have you put on the robe of pastel because that’s what is expected of you? Are you wearing those colours because someone(s) told you that you don’t have what it takes to speak, sing, write, paint, teach, lead, preach, invent what God has placed in your heart because you’re a woman? I will tell you right now that if you believe that, you’ve believed a lie. It’s time to ditch the pastel and put on the robe of many colours. Bright, bold, vibrant colours!

What’s in you – that God-given treasure inside you – does not depend on whether you are a man or a woman. It depends on you, and the boldness God gives you to get it out. You can choose to remain pastel and keep wishing it could be different. Or you can choose to be the colourful, vivid, multi-faceted, talented, extraordinary woman you were created to be.

Allow the Spirit of the Living God to fill you and sustain you and work through you and in you. Amazing things will happen!

Paul grasped the concept when he wrote:

I don’t depend on my own strength to accomplish this; however I do have one compelling focus: I forget all of the past as I fasten my heart to the future instead. I run straight for the divine invitation of reaching the heavenly goal and gaining the victory-prize through the anointing of Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 (TPT)

1 Comment

Filed under Expectations, God, holy spirit, Life, Women, Writing

January 18, 2021 · 9:48 PM

Okay, I’m a Feminist

7 Things Strong Women After 50 Do Not Do - Prime Women | An Online Magazine

Years ago, I received an email from someone asking about my views on women in church leadership. There was no context provided for the question, but I assumed it was because this acquaintance knew I’d held positions of leadership for decades, both in the church and in the business world.

Furthermore, I was asked if I considered myself to be a feminist, in a tone that suggested it was blasphemous or something. My eyes narrowed at that point. Take note: If you ever want to get me riled up, go ahead and talk down to me like I’m “just a woman” and you’ll find yourself wishing you hadn’t.

Anyway . . .

How does one go about answering two questions like that? Straight forward and to the point, that’s how.

My view on women in church leadership positions: YES. That about says it. I may elaborate further in another post one day. Do I see myself as a feminist? YES. If I go with the dictionary definition of “feminist”, then that’s what I am.

Feminist: advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men.

Although I absolutely advocate all of the above, I am not a sign-carrying, protest-marching, yell-in-your-face feminist. I don’t have to be obnoxious or offensive to make a point. In considering the rights for women socially, politically, legally, and economically, yes, I believe in equality for all.

But – and there’s always a but, right? – I also believe that many women have simply accepted that they are diminished in the eyes of men even though it may not be true. Now, before you get your pantyhose in a knot (do women even wear those anymore?), hear me out. They see themselves as lesser than men, beneath men, not as smart as men, and not as capable as men. Who told them that? Their fathers, brothers, uncles, bosses, the church, or even their mothers and grandmothers? I don’t know, but it certainly wasn’t God.

And before you start giving me all kinds of scripture references to support the opposite, just understand that the Bible needs to be absorbed considering the time in which it was written. No, I’m not suggesting a re-interpretation of the Word to suit myself. Not at all. Don’t miss the point.

What I want you to see is that your spirit – that place where the Spirit of God dwells – has no gender. He speaks to you exactly the same as He does to anyone else, male or female (and no, there isn’t a third or fourth gender). God’s expectations of you are the same whether you are a man or a woman, and you are valuable to Him and His work regardless of your plumbing. He just loves YOU. And He wants you to love Him back.

I long to see women take their place in Christ – to know who they are in Him and to take on that identity instead of the false identities placed on them by well-meaning husbands or pastors or parents or friends or the world in general. I long to see more women stand up for truth and life. I long to see real women who have fought spiritual battles and won, and who aren’t afraid to call out the fakes. I long to see women who are done with the fluff (see my previous post That I May Know Him) and want to really know Him, to do His will, no matter what the cost. I know some of those women. They have have had revelation of this for years and years, and they live it out. I honour them.

So, does it really matter whether it is a man or a woman preaching in your church? No, not if that person is truly called of God to do so. Is there a problem with a woman in a church leadership position? No, not if that woman has the skill, desire, and support to serve in that role. Is a woman in leadership a feminist? She probably is (refer to definition), and I applaud her for that.

Circling back to the beginning of this post, you might be wondering what happened with the curious soul who asked me such pointed questions. Well, I provided a lot of scripture to present my case and thought I had done a rather good job of making it clear where I stood. When I followed up some months later, the person confessed that they hadn’t even read my response. Oh well.

Bottom line: It’s not about being a female church leader or a feminist or whatever label you want to use. It’s about Jesus and who you are in Him and who He is in you. Embrace it.

I leave you with Paul’s writing, which is my prayer for you.

So I kneel humbly in awe before the Father of our Lord Jesus, the Messiah, the perfect Father of every father and child in heaven and on the earth.  And I pray that he would unveil within you the unlimited riches of his glory and favor until supernatural strength floods your innermost being with his divine might and explosive power. Then, by constantly using your faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside you, and the resting place of his love will become the very source and root of your life.

Then you will be empowered to discover what every holy one experiences—the great magnitude of the astonishing love of Christ in all its dimensions. How deeply intimate and far-reaching is his love! How enduring and inclusive it is! Endless love beyond measurement that transcends our understanding—this extravagant love pours into you until you are filled to overflowing with the fullness of God! Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you. Ephesians 3:14-19 (TPT)

Leave a comment

Filed under Bible, Blogging, Christ, Christian, God, holy spirit, Jesus Christ, Women, Writing

January 16, 2021 · 1:25 PM

That I May Know Him

A few days ago, I posted the following on Facebook, requesting responses from my friends:

Do you regularly read content written by Christian authors (books – fiction or non-fiction, articles, blogs, etc.)? If so, what do you like about them? What don’t you like? If you do not read Christian authors, why not Can you give examples of authors you like and those you don’t?

The responses I got were not surprising to me but would perhaps be surprising to some Christian writers and publishers.

Most of those who answered the questions said yes, they did read Christian content, although not many had good things to say about Christian fiction, particularly women’s fiction because much of it tends to stereotype women into very traditional roles and thought patterns. I have found this to be true in my own reading. Several authors’ names did come up as exceptions, though.

Of the I-do-read-Christian-content responses, preferences were primarily well-researched non-fiction books and articles. Some of the authors are well-known and others more obscure. There was an almost overwhelming negative response toward the “feel good” books that play on emotions and fail to address and deal with the root of the issues. My friends who no longer read much Christian content have been disillusioned with the shallowness of what’s out there, the poor quality of the writing, or the false perceptions such material leaves with readers.

Now I’ll tell you why I have embarked on this research.

Recently, I was invited to participate in a webinar for Christian writers and bloggers. I was looking forward to it, as most of the writers’ conferences and seminars I’ve attended have not focused on Christian content. I should have skipped this one. Let’s just say that after the webinar I was not compelled to respond to the “rate us” email. There was no option to give a minus rating. It was horrible. Worse than horrible. Not once was the name of Jesus mentioned. Not once did the speakers talk about digging into the Bible for content, answers, or direction. Not once did I hear anyone say that the focus needed to be on God the Father. As a matter of fact, the “best” advice, they said, was to go to a local Christian bookstore, look around at what is offered there, and write that. Because it’s what’s popular. It’s what sells.

Are you kidding me???

Okay, I calmed down a little and then yesterday, I took myself off to a Christian bookstore – the only one within a 100 km radius that hasn’t gone out of business. As a point of reference, I am a former Christian bookstore owner and I know the pain of having to close the doors on a labour of love.

My fact-finding mission at the bookstore uncovered no surprises. The department occupying the greatest amount of floor space was giftware. Yeah, you know. All those cheesy ornaments with Bible verses on them. The next largest area was fiction, most of which looked eerily the same as my own bookstore did twelve years ago – a HUGE number of Amish romances, a good number of mysteries (also romances), and a few really good books by really good authors.

I moved on and turned the corner and my eyes widened. Rows and rows of floor-to-ceiling shelves of Women’s Interest books. Do publishers not know how bad pastel covers look en-masse? I wanted to run away screaming. While I’m certain there were some truly excellent ones in there, anyone would have been hard pressed to find them among the volumes of drivel.

(drivel – childish, silly, or meaningless talk or thinking; nonsense; twaddle)

Seriously. A good 50% of the books even had the smiling face of the author on the cover. Who are we worshipping here? And the titles! Don’t even get me started.

Here’s my point: Where is Jesus? Who is He? What is He for/to you? Why do you follow Him? How can you know Him and the power of His resurrection?

And I continually long to know the wonders of Jesus more fully and to experience the overflowing power of his resurrection working in me. Philippians 3:10 (TPT)

THIS is what we need. To know and experience the living Spirit of God moving through us, in us, around us. To understand what He is to us and for us. THIS is what it means to be alive in Christ.

Anything that does not point you to Jesus should be questioned. That goes for so-called Christian books that offer answers for every life problem – books that make you feel good about yourself and excuse you from having to actually deal with your issues without giving Jesus the liberty to work with you. I’ve read many of the books I’m generalizing about here. I know what’s in them. And for all the money I’ve spent, words I’ve read, and felt justified in my sanctimonious attitude, nothing, NOTHING worked until I let Jesus show me the areas in my life that needed work. He and I are still housecleaning in that regard.

My greatest desire is to write what the Father God puts on my heart. Not what sells the best. Not what makes readers feel good (aka fluff). Not what other people tell me I should write. I believe that when I write what God has burned in my spirit, lives will change, and He will be glorified.

My little Facebook research project is a good indication that there is an audience for authentic writers who truly hear from God and write what He says. So, if you’re one of those, GO!

1 Comment

Filed under Bible, Blogging, Books, Christ, Christian, God, holy spirit, Jesus Christ, Women, Writing

July 16, 2013 · 1:32 PM

It Matters Whom You Marry

As the mother of two single daughters, I pray daily for the godly men who will one day be their husbands. Both of these women deal with frequent remarks from well-meaning friends and family who seem to think they are being too picky. This puzzles me. If you’re going to be picky about anything, shouldn’t it be about whom you choose to spend the rest of your life with?

Then I read this blog post.

It Matters Whom You Marry

My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters. You might think that the way he treats you isn’t so bad. It’s not going to get better after the wedding. You might think that he’ll change. It’s possible, but most don’t. You might think that you’ll be able to minister to him and help him. Possibly, but if you can’t now, you won’t then, and you will be at risk yourself. A husband should lead and cherish you, not need your counsel for basic personality or behavior issues.

Unless someone married is very frank with you, you can’t understand how much a husband will impact your entire life. Next to salvation there is no other long term event that will change so many areas of your life so deeply. Here are just some of the ways that marriage will impact every aspect of living.

1. It will impact you spiritually. If the guy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no business yoking a redeemed soul with an unregenerate one, even if he seems open to change. Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn’t know and love your Lord. It will cripple your spiritual development, open up a host of temptations, stifle your prayer life, make regular church going difficult, and cause massive parenting conflict if you have children.

If the guy is a believer, is he a strong one? Will he lead you in prayer, Bible reading, family devotions, and public worship? Or will you be on your own? Is he going to make spiritual growth a priority or do other things come first? Is he going to ask you how it’s going with your soul so he can help you grow in holiness and love for Christ, or will he leave that to your pastor? Is he going to lead the children in this, or will you have to spearhead that? In church, is he going to help the kids sit well, pray, find the hymn, or will you be the one pointing out what is happening next and helping the family keep up? Many women have married spiritually immature men, thinking that it wasn’t a big issue, or that the man would change, and they were wrong. They bear the scars.

The health of your eternity is at stake. Think carefully.

2. It will impact you emotionally. Is the guy you’re thinking of going to encourage you, love you, be kind to you, and seek to understand you, or will he want to go out with the guys when you’re having a hard night? Will he listen when you are struggling with something or will he be preoccupied with a video game? Is he going to be annoyed when you cry or will he get you Kleenex and give you a hug? Is he going to going to understand that you are probably more tender than he is, more sensitive to issues and comments, or is he regularly going to run rough shod over your feelings? One woman was struggling to breastfeed her new baby, believing that that was the best thing for her, but it was very difficult. Instead of giving support and encouragement, the husband would make mooing sounds whenever he saw his wife working at it. We have to get rid of princess complexes, but we do have emotional needs. Any guy who is uncaring about your feelings and self esteem is selfish and should be left alone.

Be careful – a husband can cripple or foster emotional health.

3. It will impact you physically. Is the guy you’re with going to provide for your basic needs? Will he be able to shelter, clothe and feed you? At one point in our marriage, I was worried that there was no employment opportunity. My husband assured me that he would work at McDonalds, dig ditches, clean up roadkill – whatever it took to provide for the family, regardless of his gifts and training. That’s the kind of attitude you want. A man who doesn’t provide for his household is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). You might have to help ease the financial burden, but unless your husband is disabled or there is another unusual circumstance, you shouldn’t have to carry it yourself.

Will the man you are with care for your body or abuse it? If he gives you little smacks, kicks, etc. when you’re dating, get away. It’s almost guaranteed that he will abuse you after marriage, and stats show that’s especially true when you are pregnant. Is he going to care for and protect your body or will he hurt it? There are women in churches across America who thought it was no big deal to have little (sort of friendly) punches or slaps from their boyfriends, but who are covering up the bruises from their husbands.

Will the man you are with care for you sexually? Is he going to honour the marriage bed in physical and mental faithfulness to you or will he flirt, feed his porn addiction, or even leave you for another woman? You can’t always predict these issues, but if the seeds or practices are already there, watch out. I recently saw a newly married couple and the husband was flirting openly with another woman. Unless something drastic happens, that marriage is headed for disaster.

Is he going to be tender and gentle to you in bed? An unbelieving co-worker once told my sister that after her first sexual encounter, she had trouble walking for a few days because her boyfriend was so rough. In other words, he wasn’t selfless enough to care for the body of the woman he said he loved.

Watch out. Your body needs care and protection.

4. It will impact you mentally. Is the man that you’re thinking of going to be a source of worry or will he help you deal with your worries? Is he going to encourage your intellectual development, or will he neglect it? Is he going to value your opinions and listen to what you are thinking, or will he disregard your thoughts? Is he going to help you manage stress so that your mind is not burdened that way, or is he going to let you struggle through issues alone? Is he going to care for you and be thoughtful of you if you are experiencing mental strain, or will he ignore it? I know of a woman who could handle pregnancy and child birth very well physically but postpartum depression took a huge toll on her mind. The husband overlooked it, continuing to have more children, until his wife ended up in a mental institution.

You might think that the intellectual or mental side of a marriage is small. It’s bigger than you think. Consider it seriously.

5. It will impact you relationally. How’s your relationship with your mother? Your dad? Do you love them? Does your boyfriend? Fast forward ten years: you tell your husband that your mother is coming for the weekend. Is he excited? Disappointed? Angry? Making snide jokes with his friends? Of course, a husband should come first in your priority of relationships, as you both leave father and mother and cleave to one another. But parents are still a big part of the picture. Whatever negative feelings he has about your parents now will probably be amplified after marriage. Your marriage will either strengthen or damage – even destroy – your relationship with your parents. The people who know you best and love you most right now could be cut out of the picture by a husband who hates them.

It’s the same with sisters and friends. Will they be welcomed, at reasonable times, in your home? Will the guy who you’re with encourage healthy relationships with other women, or will he be jealous of normal, biblical friendships? Will he help you mentor younger women and be thankful when older women mentor you, or will he belittle that?

Don’t sacrifice many good relationships for the sake of one guy who can’t value the people who love you.

So how will your boyfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a husband can bless or curse his wife. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. True, there are no perfect men out there. But there are great ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. I’ve been in a church parking lot where the pastor had to call the police to protect a wife from a husband who was trying to stop her from worshiping and being with her family. It’s ugly. Don’t be so desperate to get married that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in that situation. Don’t marry someone whose leadership you can’t follow. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.

1 Comment

Filed under Blogging, Christ, Christian, Dreams, Family, God, Jesus Christ, Life, Prayer, Women, Writing

Tagged as ,

April 12, 2013 · 2:46 PM

Plundering the Ovaries of Dead Baby Girls

This article appeared on my cousin’s Facebook today. I am sickened and repulsed. As my cousin so clearly stated: “OK, so there are really no limits left – Come, LORD JESUS, COME!”

Plundering the ovaries of dead baby girls: Coming soon?

by  – April 2, 2013, 6:01 pm ET

There’s been some buzz this week about a scientific discovery that can help the in vitro fertilization (IVF) process: for about ten years, doctors apparently have had the ability to harvest the eggs of aborted baby girls and use them to aid women who have difficulty conceiving. But the story resurfaced this week, affording the opportunity to talk more about the disconcerting practice.

IVF is already riddled with moral conundrums, not the least of which is the “selective reduction” abortions that often follow an overly successful IVF procedure (where a woman aborts one or more of multiple babies she has unwittingly conceived). There is also the problem of fertilized human zygotes (aka little humans) who are not selected for implantation being simply discarded without a second thought as to their intrinsic value as humans.

fetus baby

It comes as little surprise, for a procedure that is wont to constantly and consistently put the desires and preferences of parents before the humanity of their children, that the newest contribution to IVF science involves ravaging the bodies of murdered babies for their spoils.

That’s right, people: dead baby girls who have been the victims of abortion are now being utilized for their eggs. The Daily Mail (U.K.) had the presence of mind to call this ravaging of tiny ovaries what it really is: plunder: 

Scientists are ready to plunder the ovaries of aborted babies for eggs to use in IVF treatment.

The article goes on to acknowledge that the consequences of such a procedure are of macabre proportions. Consider the implications of conceiving children from the eggs of mothers who were never even born. The Daily Mail sums it up well, saying:

They raise the nightmare prospect of a child whose biological mother has never been born. The news, from a scientific conference in Madrid, was greeted with widespread revulsion at how far science is testing ethical frontiers.

It’s comforting to know that widespread revulsion has been the reaction to this procedure. But the fact is, it is not out of step with other commonplace practices surrounding IVF, such as the selective reduction abortions and the discarding of fertilized eggs mentioned earlier. If taking babies’ lives weren’t enough for the pro-abortion community, now we may be ravaging them in a utilitarian quest for gain that overlooks everything human about preborn human beings.

Help to spread awareness about the abortion-related practices of IVF. If you have a friend or relative who is considering the practice, alert him or her of this new technology and other ways in which innocent human life may be compromised by the procedure.

Leave a comment

Filed under Blogging, Issues, Jesus Christ, Kids, Life, Women, Writing

Tagged as , , ,

March 7, 2013 · 7:36 AM

PDA

PDA is short for Public Display of Affection, for those of you not familiar with the term. Although it can mean something as simple as a quick hug or holding hands, there are some who carry this to the extreme. A nauseating extreme. An indecent extreme, even. Yeah, you’ve seen them.

Yesterday, we took my mother out to a little Japanese restaurant for lunch. It was Mom’s birthday and she really, really likes sushi. We enjoyed a fabulous meal and were having some after-lunch conversation when a well-dressed man and woman came in to claim a table in the corner. I knew there would be trouble when they both sat on the same side of the table with their backs to the rest of the lunch crowd. And I mean crowd. The place was packed.

We had the misfortune of sitting almost directly across from this couple and nothing – nothing – was left to the imagination. We could see it all. So could almost everyone else. Aside from the tonsil hockey game they played, hands were in places they shouldn’t be in any public place and these two obviously didn’t care. The woman even had to button up her sweater when the waitress came to take their order. Seriously.

I could speculate as to why these two felt the need to display their affection for one another in such a brazen manner, but I will withhold judgment. I’ll just say that their behavior was inappropriate. Period.

What’s the moral of this story, you ask? There isn’t one. Or at least there were no morals evident yesterday afternoon where that couple was concerned. I wanted to grab the woman by the arm and march her into the restroom to ask if she had any self-respect whatsoever. The man sure didn’t. Respect for the woman, that is.

I’m still shaking my head.

Maybe I’ll write this into one of my stories.

2 Comments

Filed under Blogging, Humor, Women, Writing

Tagged as

December 21, 2012 · 3:50 PM

Weird Bookstore Customers

ARGH!

I have one more week of bookstoring and it seems that all the strangest and most eccentric customers have waited until the bitter end to grace me with their presence. I’m not complaining about the additional sales, mind you. I just have to paste on my Barbie doll smile, nod at the appropriate time, and endure.

This morning I had the – um – pleasure of serving a group of five rather strange women. Well, two of them were quite normal, one was in-between, and the other two were off the charts in missing smarticles. (I love that word, smarticles. I heard it this morning from my daughter.)

Anyway . . .

The two normal ladies shopped like normal customers. Asked intelligent questions. Made lovely comments. Purchased non-fluff books. Those are books with some substance. Not like a sappy romance you read in one sitting and then forget the entire story within minutes of finishing it.

The in-between lady stayed in the store while Martina McBride’s Christmas album played through two and a half times. She belched out loud twice (the lady, not Martina McBride) and left only after one of the normal ladies came to fetch her. No purchase. Even after looking through every single book in my inventory.

The two missing smarticles ladies left me speechless. And that is not an easy task. One of them – an elderly white-haired wonder – marched up to the counter and stuck her hand out in greeting, loudly introducing herself as Mrs. C. I murmured something in reply, purposely not giving my name. She caught that and demanded to know. I was tempted to say “Batman” or something equally silly. But I didn’t. Mrs. C proceeded to help herself to the free candy canes I have out for my customers, and then generously distributed them to everyone else in the store. Really. It happened just like that.

During her subsequent tour of the store, Mrs. C could be heard enthusiastically exclaiming, “Oh goodnessy, graciousy me! Look at this! And this! I could just stay here for hours!” Oh please, Lord, today is 12.21.12. I don’t mind at all if you come and get me right this minute! Of course, if He had come right then, there is the possibility that Mrs. C and I would have been on the same bus to heaven.

Oh yeah, she bought a pamphlet on the evils of Halloween. For $1.23.

The last weird lady stood in a corner and watched. She didn’t say a word, but her eyes darted around the room as if she were expecting something terrible to happen and I must admit that the words suicide bomber crossed my mind. She was a very small woman wearing a very large jacket.

Finally, they left. After I watched them all pile into one tiny car, I locked up the store and hurried over to the coffee shop to pick up my lunch. I found my staff in shock. The crazy ladies had been there, too.

2 Comments

Filed under Blogging, Books, Characters, Coffee Shop, Humor, Women, Writing

Tagged as ,

October 23, 2012 · 6:01 PM

What it’s like being a teen girl

This blog entry was posted yesterday and it’s worth sharing because almost every female over the age of 10, and even some younger, can relate. Thanks, Emma Woolley, for being brave enough to share this.

What it’s like being a teen girl

The violations started small. I was 12, fairly tall with brand new boobs. My mother wouldn’t let me buy “real bras” for a long time. It didn’t occur to me that was weird until boys in my class started advising me to “stop wearing sports bras” because I was looking a little “saggy.”

It was a boy who told me I had to start shaving my legs if I wanted anyone to ever like me. I said that wasn’t true. He laughed in my face and called me a dyke.

That night after shaving, my mother asked me why I was so vain.

They started finding reasons to touch me, pinching my butt, snapping my new “real bras,” (“They look a lot better. Did you stuff?”) or straight-up grabbing my breasts. Dropped pencils with awkward leanovers. Staged run-ins.

One time, a popular boy I knew who lived on my street forced his way into my living room while my parents were still working and fought with me over a remote control so that he could cop a feel. I didn’t say anything. Speaking up was not an option—rather, an easy road to being even more ostracized and labelled “crazy.” Besides, who would believe that he’d wanted to touch me?

They named girls one by one, by the flaws of our bodies. What they considered theirs. They would write them on chalkboards to taunt us. Draw crude pictures.

If we showed it hurt us, it only got worse. I would cry in the bathroom and hope for some serious illness to keep me out of school, if only for a day.

When I kissed one boy, he encouraged me to do the same with his friends. Not because he thought I might want to, but because I was a toy he wanted to share. An experience he wanted to give his less “successful” friends. For them, a celebration. For me, certain social suicide.

Even if I wanted it, there was never any winning.

I will never forget how excited I was to be invited to watch a movie with the popular boy I liked. I primped for hours. (I was, after all, a teenager grappling with my own new sexuality.) When I got there, he did not put on the movie we agreed to watch, but a porn film. I had never seen one before. He unzipped his pants, pushed and pulled at me. I cried the whole walk home.

They could pinpoint weaknesses. Worse, they knew they were wrong but there were just never any consequences. They knew this—treating us like objects there for them—was what was expected of them.

I want to say that they stop. But the truth is that some never do.

I have never stopped being reminded of my there-for-men status. I am reminded when I am violated in my sleep, or groped in a bar, or held down by a longtime friend. I am reminded when I refuse conversation with a strange man and he spits in my direction, or calls me a “bitch.” I am reminded when I am asked why I wore such a pretty dress if I wasn’t trying to “pick up.” I am reminded when I am told to be less angry and more agreeable. I am reminded when I talk about my lived experience and am told to “stop being so negative about everything.” I am reminded when young girls are bullied so severely by men who wanted to see their bodies that they commit suicide.

We don’t talk honestly enough about what it’s like being a teen girl. If we did talk about it, what it was like for us, perhaps we wouldn’t be so harsh on them. Perhaps we wouldn’t throw our hands up in the air and exclaim “oh, teen girls, they’re so difficult!” Perhaps they wouldn’t be so scary. Perhaps we’d see their lives for the small and large violations they’re often made up of; and what those violations do.

Perhaps we would have been less surprised today when we learned that a fifteen-year-old boy was arrested on the scene of a sexual assault, in connection with a series of sexual assaults occurring in the Bloor and Christie area of Toronto. Perhaps we would be less shocked by the fact that it’s 12-17 year old boys who are the most likely to commit sexual assault (Statistics Canada, pg. 13). That is, after all, what they were doing to me.

My stories are not uncommon. They’re more common than we want to think. As my friend Panic said: “Ask anyone who is or has been a teenaged girl. 15-yr-old boys assaulting women is common. It’s ‘normal.’” It’s so normal, in fact, that we don’t talk about it until we’re women and we know it doesn’t have to be.

Pretty much everything in North American culture tells men and boys that women and girls are there for them. So please, do us some favours. Stop telling us that we have to take self defence. Stop telling us we shouldn’t drink or go out at night or on dates. Stop telling us that we need to be prepared for whatever “boys-be-boys” violations come our ways, because it’s bullshit. We don’t have to accept this or carry it around in silence.

Start talking with men and boys about the messages they’re getting about women and girls. Tell them that they are not entitled to our bodies, no matter what. Talk to them honestly and comprehensively about sexualization and objectification. Stop being afraid to talk about boundaries, sex, and pleasure—leaving that to schools, the Internet, and peers is simply not cutting it. Show them what consent really looks like.

And this sounds basic, but remind them that we’re, you know, people? We deserve at least that much.

1 Comment

Filed under Acceptance, Blogging, Women, Writing