Category Archives: Dreams

The Big Idea

Have you ever had a Big Idea? You know, the kind of Idea that seems impossible but is fun to think about anyway. The kind of Idea that when you tell people about it they look at you weird and back away. The kind of Idea that has potential to change the world. At least, your world. Yeah, that kind of Idea.

I have them all the time.

But the problem with having Big Ideas is that you have to be careful who you tell.

There are the Dummy-heads who don’t get it at all. They roll their eyes and groan, wondering what kind of lunatic you are to let your imagination run away with you like that. Stay away from them! They are damaging to your creativity.

There are the Polite ones who want to be nice about it. They smile and nod and say the right words, acting like they really like your Big Idea and they get your hopes up because you think you’ve found somebody who understands, but they don’t. These people are easy to spot because they usually look at you with a blank stare and have a fake smile pasted on their faces. They mean well, but they don’t help you.

There are the Naysayers who stop you dead in your tracks before you’ve even finished what you were saying. They have all kinds of reasons why your Big Idea will never work and they shut you down before you’ve had a chance to explain. It’s good if you can weed these creeps out of your life because they will choke you out.

There are the Control Freaks who can’t bear to let anyone have a Big Idea they didn’t think of first. Be careful how much you tell them, because the next thing you know, your Big Idea is being promoted as their Big Idea.

I like the Honest People. They will take the time to listen. They let you tell the whole story without interrupting except to ask clarifying questions. They make valuable suggestions and actually help you to make the Big Idea even better. They are the ones cheering for you when the Big Idea is a success. And they’re cheering for you even if it isn’t. These people are your real friends. If you’ve got one or two or three of them, don’t let them go!

I popped another Big Idea into the pipeline today. It needs some time to churn and grind in there – to smooth the rough edges and get the gears aligned. I haven’t told anyone about it yet and I’m going to be picky about who hears the details.

I’m not interested in rolling eyes or pretend smiles or being told a hundred ways why it won’t work.

Because sooner or later, one of my Big Ideas will change the world.

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Being Creative, Blogging, Dreams, Imagination, Writing

Fulfill Your Vision Despite Opposition

You’ve finally decided to go for it. The Vision. The Dream. The God-given Plan. You’ve thought about it for months, maybe even years, and now you’re ready and excited.

But the people in your life aren’t.

In fact, you get the feeling your family and friends would rather have  you stay right where you are. You try to convince them that this path is your true calling, but they remain skeptical. Their doubts sap your passion and resolve, and deep down you start to wonder if they are right.

Maybe you’re not cut out to be whatever it is you believe you’re cut out to be at all.

Instead of cheering you on in your quest to fulfill your vision, those closest to you may:

  • tell you that your dreams are unrealistic or even crazy
  • stress that a safe, reliable job is more important
  • remind you of past failures and warn against taking future risks
  • urge you to consider your dream a hobby, not a serious pursuit

These are common reactions. Because people feel threatened by change and uncertainty. Your new direction can be unsettling and worrisome for your friends and family. It’s not that they don’t want you to succeed; they just don’t want to leave the familiar behind.

Whenever you embark upon something new, skepticism and doubt will follow. It’s inevitable.

But deep inside, you know that God has shown you exactly where He wants you to go, what He wants you to do, and how He wants you to do it. He has placed within you the dream, the VISION, to do that which only you can do.

It’s big. It’s scary. It’s just plain exciting!

It will take tenacity, focus, and determination to keep you from giving up.

Learning to press forward in faith, with God providing the direction, will make you stronger, more committed to succeed, and ultimately, the very person you were always meant to be.

When your favorite people aren’t supportive, moving forward with your plans can feel like trekking the outback with nothing but a rope and a knife on your belt. You’re attempting something you’ve never done before and you’ll face real dangers – possible financial struggles, work/life balance issues, and more. Yet you must press on. You can’t afford to let other people’s good intentions hold you back.

Here are some tips to help you along the way:

1. Craft concise responses to questions about what you’re doing. Find simple, clear ways to explain what you do when asked. Create some basic scripts in advance if you have to. It’s great that your family and friends care about you, so tell them that. Give them general updates, but don’t get into a lot of detail. Volunteering too much information can create a slippery slope that invites interference.

2. Choose your confidants wisely. Pray about who would be the right people to ask for help, or just to lend a listening ear. These people will give it to you straight, but also make you feel encouraged and uplifted. They are the few with whom you can confidently share everything – even your fears and failures.

3. Prepare for negativity. If you have a particularly skeptical person in your life, try preparing some kind but firm responses in advance. Something like, “I appreciate your concern, and you’re right, things might be tough for a while, but I have help and a plan, and I’m confident that everything will be alright.”

4. Be on a mission. Keep your goal front and center. Write it down. Memorize it. Get a solid vision and purpose for yourself, strong enough to help you plow through on tough days. Don’t underestimate the importance of your “why”. And don’t be afraid to communicate your mission through everything you do. Passion is contagious and will draw supporters to you.

4. Find good mentors and teachers. Stick close to the people who believe in you and what you’re doing.

6. Find supportive groups and communities. Get involved in a good church. Join a small bible study group. Ask God to show you where you can plug in. Some of the relationships you build will benefit you for years to come.

7. Keep looking for and trying new avenues for learning and growth. You will outgrow learning opportunities. Give yourself permission to move on when you feel a particular person, program, approach or activity is not the right fit for you, or isn’t working any longer. Don’t waste valuable time due to indecision. Don’t feel bad about moving on, either. Keep the good connections you made and lessons you learned, and let go of the rest.

8. Defend your boundaries. Fiercely protect your attitude and your vision. If you can’t avoid vampires (the people who suck the life out of you), be nice to them, but not open or forthcoming. Remember that negative comments can ruin your confidence and mood for hours or even days. You owe it to yourself to avoid such comments so you can do your best work.

9. Take excellent care of yourself. Get enough sleep, revive that exercise routine, and be sure to eat healthily. Your physical and emotional state will benefit, and it’ll be great for your outlook and stamina.

10. Help someone else. Reach out to others, either through your work or otherwise. Unexpected blessings come when you put aside self-interest and focus on those who need you.

11. Pray. Be in the Word. Spend time with our loving Father who wants above all else for you to succeed.

When you shake things up in your own life, the people around you are bound to react. Don’t let their fears and frustrations hold you back from achieving your dreams. Persistence in the face of skepticism will strengthen you, and as you continue on the journey to your dreams.

The world needs your contribution. For every person who feels threatened when you step up your game, 20 to 100 others will likely be inspired.

Maybe, like me, you are blessed with family and friends who are on board with your vision. If that’s the case, stop right now and thank God for those wonderful people in your life. They are rare.

5 Comments

Filed under Being Creative, Bible, Blogging, Dreams, Prayer, Writing

The Numbers Business

Have you ever noticed how occupied with numbers we are?

For example: This is my 554th blog post. As of this moment, there are 302 followers. And  probably another time as many on Facebook and Twitter. Today, January 9th, is my birthday. I am 59 years old. I have 1 husband, 4 + 2 children, and 8 grandchildren.  The computer in my car told me this morning that I can drive another 603 kilometers before the gas tank is empty. My cell phone battery is at 69%. In 4 hours, choir rehearsal begins. I have written 4,762 words since Monday.

Get the picture?

We base much of our day to day living on numbers. Time. Distance. Measurements. And what does this have to do with anything, you ask? Well, I’m glad you did. Ask, that is.

God is in the numbers business. He knows exactly how many hairs are on your head (Luke 12:7). He makes promises based on numbers (Matthew 13:3-23). He talks about numbers in church growth (Acts 16:5). And numbers are everywhere through the book of Revelation. Throughout the entire Bible, in fact.

So what?

This tells me that our God is concerned with order. He is interested in doing things properly and precisely.

I once had a manager whose favourite saying was, “if  you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it”. He drove me nuts every time he said it . . . until I understood what he meant. I had to pay attention to details. I had to plan ahead. I had to set goals and establish actions to reach them. I had to enlist the help of those working with me in order to accomplish what needed to be done. I had to mark the milestones along the way so that I could see the progress, define the improvement, and celebrate the success.

It’s no different in our faith walk.

1. Pay attention to the details. Watch for signs. God is speaking to us all the time. We need to learn to listen and to recognize His voice when He is telling us something.

2. Plan ahead. Where do you want to be next week, next month, next year? Pray and ask God to help you set goals based on where He wants to take you. Then write them down. And identify the changes you need to make or actions you need to take in order to make those goals reality.

3. People. Who are the people around you who can help you to achieve your goals? Don’t misunderstand; I’m not talking about using people for your own gain. I’m taking about looking for mentors, the wise ones, those who have talents and abilities you don’t. Encouragers, motivators, cheerleaders. Get what I mean? And you need the support of family or friends or your pastor or somebody who believes in you. And if you don’t have someone like that in your life, as the Lord to bring that person across your path.

4. Take action. As my sister-in-law said recently: “Taking the next step of faith: we may not see that much ground before us but there is a long road of God’s faithfulness behind us . . . He calls us to remember”. Be brave. Be daring. Measure your progress. Take note of the numbers.

5. Celebrate! And then move on to the next goal.

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NKJV)

2 Comments

Filed under Bible, Birthday, Blogging, Christian, Dreams, Faith, God, Hope, Prayer, Writing

It Matters Whom You Marry

As the mother of two single daughters, I pray daily for the godly men who will one day be their husbands. Both of these women deal with frequent remarks from well-meaning friends and family who seem to think they are being too picky. This puzzles me. If you’re going to be picky about anything, shouldn’t it be about whom you choose to spend the rest of your life with?

Then I read this blog post.

It Matters Whom You Marry

My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters. You might think that the way he treats you isn’t so bad. It’s not going to get better after the wedding. You might think that he’ll change. It’s possible, but most don’t. You might think that you’ll be able to minister to him and help him. Possibly, but if you can’t now, you won’t then, and you will be at risk yourself. A husband should lead and cherish you, not need your counsel for basic personality or behavior issues.

Unless someone married is very frank with you, you can’t understand how much a husband will impact your entire life. Next to salvation there is no other long term event that will change so many areas of your life so deeply. Here are just some of the ways that marriage will impact every aspect of living.

1. It will impact you spiritually. If the guy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no business yoking a redeemed soul with an unregenerate one, even if he seems open to change. Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn’t know and love your Lord. It will cripple your spiritual development, open up a host of temptations, stifle your prayer life, make regular church going difficult, and cause massive parenting conflict if you have children.

If the guy is a believer, is he a strong one? Will he lead you in prayer, Bible reading, family devotions, and public worship? Or will you be on your own? Is he going to make spiritual growth a priority or do other things come first? Is he going to ask you how it’s going with your soul so he can help you grow in holiness and love for Christ, or will he leave that to your pastor? Is he going to lead the children in this, or will you have to spearhead that? In church, is he going to help the kids sit well, pray, find the hymn, or will you be the one pointing out what is happening next and helping the family keep up? Many women have married spiritually immature men, thinking that it wasn’t a big issue, or that the man would change, and they were wrong. They bear the scars.

The health of your eternity is at stake. Think carefully.

2. It will impact you emotionally. Is the guy you’re thinking of going to encourage you, love you, be kind to you, and seek to understand you, or will he want to go out with the guys when you’re having a hard night? Will he listen when you are struggling with something or will he be preoccupied with a video game? Is he going to be annoyed when you cry or will he get you Kleenex and give you a hug? Is he going to going to understand that you are probably more tender than he is, more sensitive to issues and comments, or is he regularly going to run rough shod over your feelings? One woman was struggling to breastfeed her new baby, believing that that was the best thing for her, but it was very difficult. Instead of giving support and encouragement, the husband would make mooing sounds whenever he saw his wife working at it. We have to get rid of princess complexes, but we do have emotional needs. Any guy who is uncaring about your feelings and self esteem is selfish and should be left alone.

Be careful – a husband can cripple or foster emotional health.

3. It will impact you physically. Is the guy you’re with going to provide for your basic needs? Will he be able to shelter, clothe and feed you? At one point in our marriage, I was worried that there was no employment opportunity. My husband assured me that he would work at McDonalds, dig ditches, clean up roadkill – whatever it took to provide for the family, regardless of his gifts and training. That’s the kind of attitude you want. A man who doesn’t provide for his household is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). You might have to help ease the financial burden, but unless your husband is disabled or there is another unusual circumstance, you shouldn’t have to carry it yourself.

Will the man you are with care for your body or abuse it? If he gives you little smacks, kicks, etc. when you’re dating, get away. It’s almost guaranteed that he will abuse you after marriage, and stats show that’s especially true when you are pregnant. Is he going to care for and protect your body or will he hurt it? There are women in churches across America who thought it was no big deal to have little (sort of friendly) punches or slaps from their boyfriends, but who are covering up the bruises from their husbands.

Will the man you are with care for you sexually? Is he going to honour the marriage bed in physical and mental faithfulness to you or will he flirt, feed his porn addiction, or even leave you for another woman? You can’t always predict these issues, but if the seeds or practices are already there, watch out. I recently saw a newly married couple and the husband was flirting openly with another woman. Unless something drastic happens, that marriage is headed for disaster.

Is he going to be tender and gentle to you in bed? An unbelieving co-worker once told my sister that after her first sexual encounter, she had trouble walking for a few days because her boyfriend was so rough. In other words, he wasn’t selfless enough to care for the body of the woman he said he loved.

Watch out. Your body needs care and protection.

4. It will impact you mentally. Is the man that you’re thinking of going to be a source of worry or will he help you deal with your worries? Is he going to encourage your intellectual development, or will he neglect it? Is he going to value your opinions and listen to what you are thinking, or will he disregard your thoughts? Is he going to help you manage stress so that your mind is not burdened that way, or is he going to let you struggle through issues alone? Is he going to care for you and be thoughtful of you if you are experiencing mental strain, or will he ignore it? I know of a woman who could handle pregnancy and child birth very well physically but postpartum depression took a huge toll on her mind. The husband overlooked it, continuing to have more children, until his wife ended up in a mental institution.

You might think that the intellectual or mental side of a marriage is small. It’s bigger than you think. Consider it seriously.

5. It will impact you relationally. How’s your relationship with your mother? Your dad? Do you love them? Does your boyfriend? Fast forward ten years: you tell your husband that your mother is coming for the weekend. Is he excited? Disappointed? Angry? Making snide jokes with his friends? Of course, a husband should come first in your priority of relationships, as you both leave father and mother and cleave to one another. But parents are still a big part of the picture. Whatever negative feelings he has about your parents now will probably be amplified after marriage. Your marriage will either strengthen or damage – even destroy – your relationship with your parents. The people who know you best and love you most right now could be cut out of the picture by a husband who hates them.

It’s the same with sisters and friends. Will they be welcomed, at reasonable times, in your home? Will the guy who you’re with encourage healthy relationships with other women, or will he be jealous of normal, biblical friendships? Will he help you mentor younger women and be thankful when older women mentor you, or will he belittle that?

Don’t sacrifice many good relationships for the sake of one guy who can’t value the people who love you.

So how will your boyfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a husband can bless or curse his wife. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. True, there are no perfect men out there. But there are great ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. I’ve been in a church parking lot where the pastor had to call the police to protect a wife from a husband who was trying to stop her from worshiping and being with her family. It’s ugly. Don’t be so desperate to get married that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in that situation. Don’t marry someone whose leadership you can’t follow. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.

1 Comment

Filed under Blogging, Christ, Christian, Dreams, Family, God, Jesus Christ, Life, Prayer, Women, Writing

SOLD!

This sign appeared on our front lawn today. Although the house has been officially sold for almost a week now, it takes a while for the message to filter through the various channels.

But now the fun begins. And as my mother just advised, “make sure you know where things are packed!” She moved a couple of months ago and is still looking for some things. I have taken her advice to heart.

Despite the upcoming purging and junking and selling and boxing, we are thrilled. We have purchased a beautiful home in a small community about 45 minutes from where we currently live, and it is the beginning of a long-time dream of ours to leave the big city. Our new home is on the side of a mountain with a breathtaking view of the valley and city below. I am already looking forward to warm summer evenings, sitting out on the deck with my diet Coke and enjoying the gorgeous scenery.

Will I miss the house we’ve sold? Absolutely. We’ve been here twelve years, longer than I’ve lived anywhere in my whole life. There are memories of graduations, weddings,  grandchildren, family gatherings, Bible studies, backyard barbecues, Christmases, and more. I am tucking those away in my mental photo album so they are never gone for good. And there will be new ones to add in the coming years.

We’re so excited about this new adventure God is taking us on! It’s more than just selling an old house and buying a new one. It’s establishing a whole new life.

Just proves that you’re never too old to reinvent yourself.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Blogging, Dreams, Life, Writing

Pay Attention

I was reading a blog today that reminded me of me when I was a teenager. Except that when I was a teenager I would never have written as candidly about my innermost thoughts the way this young person has. I was too afraid someone might judge me. Or stop me. Or not like me.

I grew up in the “children are seen and not heard” era. You had to be perfectly well behaved. (I wasn’t.) You were supposed to look your best at all times. (I didn’t.) And in the presence of grownups, you kept your mouth shut unless you were asked a question directly. (A hard one for me.) My parents always said I always wanted to be the centre of attention. That was true. But as I’ve grown older, I think that many of my attention-getting antics were the result of feeling as though no one actually saw me. Or heard me.

When I think back to my childhood and teen years, I can clearly remember my thoughts and dreams – many, many of which I never breathed to anyone. I also remember telling myself over and over, never forget this, always remember how you felt when this happened. And I haven’t forgotten.

Now, as an adult, I have a multitude of memories that have stayed with me for forty or fifty years. Because I paid attention even when I felt that no one else did. Those memories of my thoughts, the dreams I had, and the things I experienced are as fresh in my mind as if they’d happened last week. I open them sometimes when I need the perspective of a teenage girl in one of my stories. Or when I want to see the situation through the eyes of a frightened seven-year-old.

And I pay attention to my children. I listen to my grandchildren. And I watch the people who walk past my house, or drive in the car beside me, or sit next to me in a waiting room. All of them have thoughts and dreams they share with no one.

But if you pay attention, you can see what they see.

2 Comments

Filed under Blogging, Dreams, Imagination, Writing

Live on Purpose

Most people I talk to are not living on purpose. Not enjoying life. Simply enduring. They spend their time regretting the past or wishing it back. They are either looking forward to or dreading some event in the future. Today is just an in-between. They are certainly not taking hold of this moment and making the most of it.

I got to thinking about this and made a list. On how you can live on purpose. Make memories. Go to bed at the end of the day with a smile on your face.

1. Pick one small bad habit. Change it.

2. Call someone you haven’t talked to in a long time. Be positive. Encourage them.

3. Stand outside and listen. What do you hear? Take a deep breath. What do you smell? Look around. What do you see?

4. Set one measurable goal for the day. Especially if long-term goals aren’t your thing. I read a quote by Zig Ziglar once that said, “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.”

5. Stop caring what other people think about you. It’s your life, not theirs.

6. Make things happen. Don’t wait for things to happen. If all you do is react to situations, I can pretty much assure you that you’re going to respond exactly the opposite to what you really want to do. 

7. Be honest about what you want. Speak up. If you live your life as a people-pleaser, you will let people walk on you even if they don’t know they’re doing it.

8. Don’t let fear stop you. Say no over and over again to the lies that it tells you and live your life on your terms. You won’t be bound by fear, and you will be able to do what you believe is right, regardless of how terrifying it is. Fear wants you to fit in, to be mediocre, to do nothing that matters, to fly under the radar. It’s much easier to give in to fear. Take the hard and rewarding road.

9. Take responsibility. You can’t control the people around you, and you can’t control many of your circumstances. But you have complete control over yourself. Don’t blame the people around you, or the economy, or the weather, or your age. Just be wise enough to rise above it all or you’ll never get out of your victim mentality.

10. Be a positive person. Taking responsibility will certainly help with that. It’s difficult to be upbeat when you believe that your destiny is controlled by your circumstances. Listen to yourself when you talk or think.

11. Connect with people. Intentionally. It just makes life more fun.

12. Read. There’s no better way to change yourself than reading. A former pastor of mine always said, “Who you are a year from now is largely dependent on the books you read.” So true.

13. Be thankful. Being thankful just requires you to open your eyes a little more than you usually do.

14. Choose your emotional responses. You choose to stress. You choose to be angry. The situation may seem out of your hands, or it may seem like someone else’s fault, but realize that it’s always your decision how you react.

Do something. Today. No more excuses.

Leave a comment

Filed under Being Creative, Blogging, Books, Dreams, Life, Writing