How to be Useless to God

Here are some tips on how to be useless to God and everyone else, for that matter.

1. Refuse to change. Your way is the only way, right?

2. Don’t listen to any helpful suggestions from anyone.

3. Never, ever act on anything you hear from your pastor on Sunday mornings.

4. Ignore any God-given opportunities that come your way.

5. Stay in your comfort zone all the time.

6. Don’t read any books that might cause you to adjust your point of view.

7. Keep yourself away from situations where you might meet new people.

8. Never try anything new.

9. When you pray, wrap it up quickly so God doesn’t have a chance to speak to you.

Follow these suggestions and I can assure you that people will leave you alone. So will God.

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