The Survivor

I’m a winning Survivor. And you’ll have to read right to the end to find out what in the world that has to do with anything.

When I was little, I wanted to be a boy. I would pray every night and ask God to please turn me into a boy while I was sleeping. Boys got to do all the fun things. Climb trees. Catch frogs. Pull the legs off grasshoppers. Throw rocks at stuff. Girls had to wear dresses and sit still and have their mothers yank their hair out by the roots with the stiffest brush they could find and then put those pink sponge curlers in every Saturday night so you would be pretty for church on Sunday. Yuck. It didn’t help that no one on the face of the earth had hair straighter than mine and by the time noon came on Sunday, there was nothing left of the curls. Then I started school and I decided I didn’t want to be a boy anymore because I had fallen in love with the older man who lived down the street (I was 6 and he was 8) and for a while I think we had a good thing going there.

Then I wanted to be a writer. I think it was a second or third grade revelation. I figured I could always be a writer while I was being something else at the same time. After that, I wanted to be a scientist. That lasted until I reached junior high and had to put this aspiration far behind me. I managed to fail every single science class I ever took until halfway through high school when they let me take something else instead. German, I think it was. Or maybe shorthand. Which I never used. Then I wanted to be a flight attendant or a lawyer (I was very good at arguing with my parents and sisters) or a horse trainer. That one didn’t even make sense because I was totally afraid of horses. I still wanted to be a writer.

Funny how some of the things you wanted to be when you were little are so opposite of what you actually become. I always wanted to get married, but I never gave a thought to being a mother. And now I have four awesome children who have even provided add-ons. I was completely lousy at math and yet I worked in the banking industry for over 30 years. They let me use a calculator there. I wanted to travel the world, but I’ve never been off the North American continent except one trip to Hawaii and lots of trips to Vancouver Island, but I don’t think that counts. And I am a writer.

I got to the point a few years ago where all I really wanted to be was a Survivor. I want to survive this time I have on earth being exactly what God always intended for me to be. I know I’ve taken a lot of detours along the way but in my heart of hearts, I know that I am living the life that was always mine to live. I don’t really care if there are people who look at me weird and think I’m nuts – sometimes they would be right – or that I should be doing something else. They are not me. They don’t know that what goes on between God and me is really, really good.

I am here to Outwit, Outlast and Outplay whatever plans that old puss-head devil might have to destroy me. He was voted off the island a long time ago.

And we already know who wins.