The dictionary defines disappointment as an emotion we feel when there is a failure to fulfill expectations. We’ve all experienced it. And it can be very difficult to come to terms with.

I had one of those recently.

Someone I respected and trusted failed to fulfill my expectations and the results had a fairly significant negative impact. Were my expectations unrealistic? Absolutely not. This was a matter of ethics.

The person attempted to brush off the situation as if it were no big deal, but it was a big deal. My reaction was pretty normal. Anger, hurt, frustration, shock, disappointment. And I lost all motivation to do whatever I was doing to please the person who had wronged me.

Then I had to forgive. Yes, even though I was not the one who had committed the disservice, I had to forgive. I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay mad. I wanted to wallow in my disappointment. I wanted to throw it back in their face at every opportunity. But that would have caused seeds of bitterness to root and grow, and I don’t need that in my life. No one does.

I still have to work through a few things, but I’ve forgiven. It wasn’t easy or pleasant. But it’s done. Time to move on.

Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity. Luke 6:37-38 (The Message)


Filed under Bible, Christian, Expectations, Life, Writing

7 responses to “Disappointment

  1. Chris Jordan

    Thanks for your openness, honesty and transparency in sharing this, Wendy… Disappointment is a hard one to deal with for sure, especially when the person is someone you respect or trust, or they are in authority, or a believer… praying for God’s grace to flood your heart to be able to respond in a right way, even though you were wronged. By the way, LOVE the Message paraphrase of that Scripture… I’m going to share that on facebook today!

    • I am getting a LOT out of The Message, even though I’ve always been a paraphrase skeptic. Thanks for commenting.

      • Chris Jordan

        I don’t like the Message for my BIble study time, but I have read through the whole Message paraphrase, and found I especially really enjoyed the Old Testament prophets in a way I hadn’t before… I will often quote it from time to time when I’m preaching too as can help you to see it in a new light… good stuff!

  2. Teresa Cleveland Wendel

    Forgiveness is something I struggled with for years. But then I realized that by not forgiving, I was allowing the hurt to consume me. It’s so much easier to let go–and I hope those I disappoint can let go of it too.

  3. Anonymous

    Great one mom! A lesson I just recently learned was that the way we respond to disappointment and hurt show us a lot about our character. The way we react when someone lets us down can be worse than what the person did to us. Two wrongs don’t make a right. I think we can learn a lot about ourselves through these difficult times, God is streeeetching and molding us,

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