The parade of human oddity continues to pass through my store.
Regular Customer who comes in 2 or 3 times a week: (holding up a CD) You don’t have this in DVD?
Customer: What about this one?
The customer sighs in exasperation and I simply shrug. She and I have had this same conversation dozens of times over the past year. I don’t carry music DVDs. My countless offers to order them in for her (prepaid, of course) are always met with a negative response. Oh well.
Passerby: (hands me a slip of paper with a phone number on it) I need to call this number.
Me: Ours is a business phone only.
Passerby: I know, but I just about fell down outside.
Me: Sorry to hear that.
Passerby: Just dial this number please.
Me: (Sighing, I hand her the cordless phone)
Passerby: I don’t know how to use cell phones.
Me: It’s not a cell phone. Just cordless.
Passerby: You will have to do it. I can’t see the numbers.
I punched in the numbers, she talked, and left the store.
Customer: (comes in with a bag of used books) Here you go!
Me: I’m sorry, we’re not accepting any more used books at the moment.
Customer: Oh. Well, I was just spring cleaning and wanted to get rid of these.
Customer: All I want is to exchange these for one new book.
Me: Really, I can’t take any used books right now. I have no room for them.
Customer: Well, I really wanted that new Karen Kingsbury book.
Me: I have it here for $16.99.
Customer: No, I wanted it free.
The customer looked at me in disbelief, took her bag of books, and left the store.
Man: I need to renew my car insurance.
Me: The insurance office moved across the street a year and a half ago.
Man: No way. I was in here last fall.
Me: Nope. We’ve been here since May 2010.
Man: (getting angry) You don’t know what you’re talking about.
Me: Since I’m the owner of this store, I think I do know what I’m talking about.
Man: You’ve got your dates mixed up.
Me: You’ll still have to go across the street for your insurance.
He left the store in a huff.
Kid: (touching everything in the giftware section)
Me: Can you read?
Me: (pointing to the many little signs on the shelves) What does that say?
Kid: Please do not touch.
Me: Good job! What do you think that means?
Kid: Not to touch it if you’re gonna break it.
Me: Close, but no. It means don’t touch at all.
Kid: But I’m being careful.
Me: Do you have enough money to buy any of this stuff?
Me: Then no touching. Period.
Meanwhile, the mother was shopping elsewhere in the store, completely oblivious to her child’s inability to keep her hands to herself.
This could be construed as a frustrating customer day.