I went to pray at the church last night. A few others were there doing the same, and I confess, I would have rather stayed home.
I sat in the back row with my Bible, my notebook, and my Tim Horton’s extra-large decaf double double (I won another “please play again” when I rolled up the rim). I closed my eyes and tried to work up some kind of spiritual-ness, but I wasn’t feeling it. Not at all.
I opened my notebook and began to write. On a side note, I NEVER pray without my notebook handy. Ya gotta be ready to write when God shows up. Anyway, I started by writing out Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 1:15-23. Always a good beginning. By the time I finished with that, I could feel my heart stirring, and I knew there was something coming.
I prayed for a long time, crying out to God, wanting desperately to hear His voice. I wanted assurance that He was there. That He could hear me.
In the quiet that followed, I heard the Father say my name. Not audibly, but deep in my spirit. He did not use the big, booming Ten Commandments voice we often associate with Him, but rather, God spoke my name with such love and gentleness. His voice was like a father beckoning a child when he has a gift to give. And give He did.
I can’t describe all that was encompassed in the voice of the Father. Unconditional love. Complete acceptance. Approval. I could hear the smile in His voice, and I knew He was pleased that I’d wanted to hear Him speak. His peace wrapped around me.
I was in awe. I’m still in awe. A precious touch from my Father.
I realized again that God is not looking for a stellar performance. He isn’t measuring my productivity. His love for me doesn’t need to be analyzed. He loves. Period. I don’t deserve it and I can’t earn it. That blows me away.
With the simple speaking of my name, God let me know with unmistakable certainty that He loves me. I belong to Him. There was intimacy in the way He spoke. He knows me better than I know me. He has my back. He is my champion. He does not fail and He never lets me down. He wants me to succeed. He wants me to have the best – even though it may be a lot different than what I think is best.
How awesome is our God! Completely and totally wonderful.
King of all Kings, all the universe will sing: Everlasting God! You are wonderful!