I’ve been thinking on marriage – thinking about the advice I would give my children if they would hear and realize that, after almost 35 years in the wedded bliss business, I might know what I’m talking about. They listen with half an ear and they don’t even try to hide it when they roll their eyes. Ungrateful kids.
Marriage is work. No shortcuts. I am always amazed at the number of newlyweds out there who enter into holy matrimony thinking they know it all. They’ve had a fairytale courtship, a spectacular wedding, a lovely honeymoon, and now they’re finding their way into the routine of life. Before the first week is over, they’ve had a humdinger of a fight. The new little wife is crying in the bedroom and her husband is wondering what happened. Neither of them are prepared to handle a disagreement. Neither of them are prepared for marriage, period. A very common thing.
Wife, it’s your job to let your husband be the head of your home, whether he’s good at it or not. You won’t do him any favors by taking the reins yourself, and you’ll only find yourself in a state of constant frustration if you do. Help him. Respect the man and love him in your words, attitude, and actions – no matter where you are.
Husband, it’s your job to be her champion. All the time. Take care of her like you promised you would. Defend her honor when people speak ill of her. Be the husband she needs, even when you don’t feel like it.
I could say a lot more, and maybe I will eventually. For now, chew on this: if you want the happily ever after, you have to build the foundation.
Stop rolling your eyes.
One response to “On Marriage”
Cute, Wendy. I like this post. Chris and I have been together just half the number of years you and Wayne have been, but I know exactly what you mean. What I think is also important to bring up is that all the work you put into a relationship is worth it. What you give to the other person always comes back to you, in so many ways. A marriage, or long-term relationship, isn't just about you, you, you all the time. It's about us, and sacrifice, and compromise, and, ultimately, if you work at it hard enough, the best possible arrangement you could ever imagine. In my experience, being single is a lot more difficult than being coupled. Nothing can take the place of being with the love of your life as you negotiate your way around the days, weeks, months, and years you're together. I can't imagine life without Chris. I hope I never know what that's like.